I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's like God shit irony all over that family
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
