You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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