3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize