This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
