i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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