Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
