Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
