i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
