This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
