Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
