is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I puked a lego.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
