He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
