I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
