the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
