Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
