I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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