You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
