dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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