Sry I called you an 8
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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