just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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