Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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