Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
