she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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