just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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