For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
