In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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