Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
