They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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