Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
