A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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