R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize