I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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