I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
