i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
