she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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