So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This house was built for laser tag.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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