I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
