Barsexuality is the new black.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Less talking, more tequila
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
