So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
