so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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