Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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