are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize