I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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