The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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