i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do herpes really smell.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
