Already got asked if we're dating
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
