I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
did you just send me my own nude
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
