he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
