I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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