Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
