Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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