i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
