so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
