The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
