when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
