Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
