Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I want is dick and wine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
