i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
